Breaking News: Stoned Customer Fails to Have Orgasm!
Posted by Liquid Lapdance on August 28, 2013 0 Comments
"Just wanted to write and say that I love your product – it is a lot of fun. However, you have the orgasm guarantee and I did not have an orgasm so I want another pair. I am a medical marijuana patient and I smoked a small amount before going to the club. It helps me relax. Anyway, went into the VIP room and spent 15 glorious minutes with my favorite stripper. I used Nivea lotion, which is a great recommendation by the way. It basically feels like sex with a condom with a hot girl. What more can you ask for? I just wanted to see if I could do it. Also, the stripper thought it was cool - it was a game – she was trying to make me come and I managed not to. Barely."
WHAT? I hope you're still at the club. Get back to the VIP IMMEDIATELY!!! You don't need more LLs... You just need another 15 minutes!
P.S. We'll hook you up with a free pair because you're a true kindred spirit... but, next time, a little less weed please... Your dong was too relaxed... There might not have been a pair of ass cheeks in the entire club that could have coaxed an orgasm out of you...
P.P.S. Technically, in order to qualify for our Orgasm Guarantee, you have to TRY to cum. That means no drugs and minimal alcohol... And a certain healthy willingness to bust a nut.
Update from Customer 3/12/14:
"I got the new pants with the drawstrings and tested them out today – they work very well. The magic happened in 3 VIP dances." -- Happy Customer