From our inbox: "I will not go to the strip club without them."

Posted by Liquid Lapdance on October 29, 2016 0 Comments
"I forgot to complete my order yesterday but I just completed it today. I have used liquid lap dance before and they are amazing. I will not go to the strip club without them. Keep up the great work." -- LL Customer

From our Inbox

Posted by Liquid Lapdance on June 02, 2016 0 Comments
"Hey Guys I just have to say that your product is awesome.  I bought them a couple of years ago but recently have been hitting the clubs more now that I'm single.  I get a lot of use out of them and love wearing them.  Hell I can't even keep my hard on down when I'm in them because they feel so smooth and slick on my cock.  It's good for some pocket pool too between dances.  I've dumped three fat nuts in these in a night.  It's awesome.  The video on the page is hot as hell too I wish you had more up there."

"I am having the time of my life every time I go to the club."

Posted by Liquid Lapdance on January 21, 2016 0 Comments

Thanks to your product I am having the time of my life every time I go to the club. Please don't stop improving and doing what your doing. I ordered the party pack just for myself haha. You have a very loyal customer. I'm going to start talking to other guys in the club about it and giving them one as kind of a test run. Then I'll give them a card. Hopefully you guys start seeing more business from here. I want to see this product improve in the worst way because if it can get any better I want to experience it.

(This was from our email inbox. Thanks for the great feedback!)

Dancer is "in the know" about Liquid Lapdance

Posted by Liquid Lapdance on January 21, 2016 0 Comments

So I went to my usual spot in _____ which is _______... Excellent strip club. Not a lot of people there and quite a few girls. My usuals that I go and see were not there so I had to find a new girl and hope for the best... Came across this beautiful blonde. Went up to tip her on the side stage and she started grinding on me. She looked back, reached down, grabbed my crotch and said "You're wearing lapdance pants". I looked up at her and smiled. She smiled back, I tipped her and went back to my seat. After she was done on stage she walked straight over to my table and said "You want a dance, let's go"... I didn't say a thing, I just got up and walked to the dance area with her. I paid her upfront and the dance started. She was rubbing around, asking me if I was "updog" yet and I said "You know about lapdance pants?" She said that's why she wanted a dance with me. Second song in she asked if I came yet and I hadn't. Third song she asked me to tell her what to do. As soon as I came I told her and she put her mouth on the tip and started humming and sucking me through my pants. She told me to look for her when I come in next time and to tell my LL friends to go to her. She said she loves your product and once again I can't thank you guys enough for this amazing invention. May your business grow and expand! I'm promoting the shit out of these here in _____!

(Thanks to the AWESOME customer who sent this story to us via email.)

Liquid Lapdance Review from W. S.

Posted by Liquid Lapdance on May 02, 2015 0 Comments

I absolutely love your product and have tried it more than once. I had been going to the same club for years and have a couple of dancers I would go to see often. Well I had stopped going for a while because I would always spend so much money wanting more and leave the club unsatisfied, raw and hurting sometimes. Until one day I decided to do something that would change the game so I started looking online for ways to make rubber or latex underwear and I stumbled across your product. MY JAW DROPPED! It was everything I was looking for and more so I ordered three pair right off bat. I'm glad I did because I had the most unforgettable experience of my life. I went to a new club first to try them out and was very nervous. Got this amazing Black girl with an ass to die for to give me a dance. She did and it was awkward at first but I came. It didn't feel the best it could have but it did happen. But my penis was hanging on the side of my thigh and wouldn't stand up. So I went back online months later and saw you had designed a better pair that could be tied on the sides and was designed for the penis to sit straight up! Again I ordered three pair. They got here and fit perfectly, put on some loose fitting shorts and went to the club I was a regular at. One of the girls I frequently saw and got dances from was there. She asked me for a dance and I didn't waste any time. The dance started and she started rubbing her tits and hands on my crotch and had a funny look on her face at first but kept going. She then started grinding on me and I got really hard so after the first song I reached down and adjusted myself to stand straight up which wasn't hard to do. She then asked me if I wanted another and I told her that I wanted to spend some real money on her tonight and that I would tip her to do more of what I like. She smiled and said ok! So the second dance started and she started feeling around my crotch, rubbing her hands up and down my dick which was spreading the lube all over. IT FELT FANTASTIC! She then got on top of me and started grinding. I about lost it but made it to the third song. I was all built up and ready to explode. During the break song I asked her to sit her nice butt on my lap and she did. The third song started and she wasted no time on the grind this time. I used my hand to signal movement until her crack swallowed my dick. Then she started grinding hard and fast. It felt the best I've ever felt other than sex or a blow job. I came harder than the last time I had used them and came more than I had in a very long time. After it was over I gave her $80 and she asked if I liked it. I said yes and she smiled and kissed me on the cheek then nibbled on my earlobe. I had to sit for a minute before I could stand back up lol. Later she came to my table and had asked me a serious question "So did you cum during that dance?" I told her yes and she wasn't mad at all. She said she went and checked herself and she was dry but she knew I came. I showed her my pants were dry and she asked me to see. So I showed her my dry crotch. She felt around for a wet spot and didn't feel one. She was so confused lol. I told her about LL and have her a card. She imediately asked me if I wanted another dance, smiled at me and but her lip. I got another one and she went balls to the wall! I came AGAIN!!!!! Literally every time I go to the club her and my other favorite give me the best dances every time and let me guide them during the dance. I can't thank you guys enough for your product. It's made everything SO much better at the club for me and the dancers. They make money, get to have fun and I get an incredible experience every single time. When you come out with any new or revamped product I would love to know and try it. If it could get any better than this I would explode..... Literally. 

Tell us where to send it!

Posted by Liquid Lapdance on February 03, 2015 0 Comments

Like many companies that bring new products to market, we have a budget to send out free samples to reviewers, bloggers, journalists, radio personalities, etc..

Maybe you know an awesome radio host in your town?
Maybe your sister-in-law is Howard Stern's producer?

If you think we should send a free sample of Liquid Lapdance to someone you know... Please, tell us where to send it!

Simply email the name and address to support@liquidlapdance.com.  Please also tell us who we're sending to and why you think it'd be smart/hilarious!  If we can get our PR girl to sign off on it, we'll send out the shipment.

Gentleman’s Guide to Tipping - How much should I tip a waiter, bartender, dancer, valet, etc.?

Posted by Liquid Lapdance on November 21, 2014 0 Comments

One thing too many gentlemen get wrong when they venture out into the world is tipping. There is no class on tipping.  Usually we learn from our parents or from observing others.  But a gentleman uses his superior knowledge of the rules of reciprocity and generosity to his advantage.  People respond to the gentleman by treating him as a king among men.

For the modern gentleman, giving a tip is an opportunity:

1. A way to show your appreciation for a job well done.  "You're a boss, and of course the boss gives the bonus!"

2. A way to express your generosity.  "You've got a huge heart, and it feels great to leave a big tip!"

3. A way to level-up the way you're treated. "Why do rich people tip well?  Because they want to get treated like rich people."

Tips are also the way many people in the service industry get by.  In the US, many service providers are paid well below minimum wage and need tips just to survive.  Tipping is done a bit differently in every country, and many foreigners have a hard time getting used to tipping norms here in the good old USA.  

Here are some guidelines for gentlemanly tipping:

Waiter or Waitress

The basic tip is 20% of the price of the meal.  The math is easy at 20% (just calculate 10% and double it), and it's become the normal, expected rate.  Unless given some extraordinary reason to tip less, the average person will tip 20%.  Consider it part of the cost of eating out.  Some like to tip 15%.  Waiters and waitresses call those kinds of people "cheap skate", "cheap bastard", "piece of shit", etc.. A gentleman tips 20% of the cost of the meal.

Bellhop

If you need the services of a bellhop to get you bag into your hotel room you had better give him or her a tip. The standard is $1 to $2 per bag. A gentleman tips $5.

Valet

The normal average tip for a valet is $2. A gentleman tips $5.

Room Service

If a gratuity is part of the bill, a tip is not expected, but a tip of a few dollars is always appreciated. If the gratuity is not part of the bill, a gentleman tips $5 anytime someone brings something to the room, and 20% if ordering a meal.

Stage Dancers

Tipping at the strip club is a difficult topic.

When sitting "along the rail" by the stage, a gentleman tips $1 per song.  That's simple and often required by the club.

If you're completely loving the dancer on stage, and you know you want to get a dance, consider this gentlemanly approach:

Tip the dancer $20 while she is on stage.  The $20 stage tip is not expected, and the dancer will remember it.   While you give the tip, whisper to her, "I want you to dancer for me later."  She will remember you're the generous tipper who gave her $20 on stage.  She'll go into the dance treating you like a generous rich guy.  You'll get better dances.  And, after the dance, if she asks for a tip, you can say, "I already tipped you on stage, my love."

Lap Dancers

Tipping for lap dances is a more difficult topic.  The price for a lap dance is often negotiated directly with the dancer.  Dancers are often very skilled at charging guys as much as possible, over-promising, under-delivering, etc..  It may very well not make sense to tip on top of what the dancer is already charging for her services.  Her services may not have lived-up to the gentleman's expectations.

If the dancer asks for a tip after the dance, the moment can be awkward.  Tips are always awkward when the service provider asks for them, but this situation is doubly awkward because the time you spent together was very intimate.  You may have received service for which a tip is most appropriate.

And yet, a $1 or $5 tip is as likely to alienate her as it is to please her.  

We recommend the following guidelines for tipping when getting a lap dance:

1. Rather than a tip, if you're enjoying the time, get more lap dances.  If the dancer asks for a tip, say: "Instead of tipping, I'd rather spend more money with you."

2. If you feel the dancer has truly earned a tip, by all means give one.  But the gentleman should never feel bad about not tipping a dancer if he has negotiated the price of services with her up front.

Bartender

The gentleman asks himself, what would a regular guy tip, then steps it up a level.  Regular guys tip the bartender $1 per drink.  The gentleman lays down $2 when the regular guy would tip $1, and $5 when the regular guy would tip $2. 

Bouncer

Bouncers love tips.   In a strip club, tipping the bouncer can help make sure you get more mileage and less hassle.  $20 to a bouncer establishes you as a friend of the club.  Bouncers can help bring over the best dancers.

5 Tips That Will Keep You Looking Great For The Ladies

Posted by Liquid Lapdance on November 17, 2014 0 Comments

People think staying fit takes a lot of effort.  The truth is, the smallest changes make a huge difference (if you do them every day).

1. Do 10 push-ups every morning.

It's crazy because it's so simple, but if you do it every day, you'll look like a weightlifter in a few months.  Do 10 crunches while you're down there to make those abs sexy too.

2. Take a walk after dinner.

Using your muscles after meals lowers your blood sugar and prevents your body from storing extra blood sugar as fat.

3. Eat more raw (uncooked) food.

Cooking food increases the amount of calories we get out of it.  If you want to lose weight, eat more raw foods.

4. Play your favorite sport (more).

Exercise doesn't have to be boring.  Do the things you love to do.

5. Get a standing desk.

Sitting all day is hard on the body (and painful).  Stand up for phone calls and any task that's annoying.  Hey, if you're annoyed anyway, you might as well be doing something good for your body.

Is It Possible to be a Feminist and Still Pay For Lap Dances?

Posted by Liquid Lapdance on November 17, 2014 0 Comments

Talk about a loaded question.

Humans generally operate on a default setting. The caveman part of our brains relies on stereotypes and assumptions to make sense of the world. The default assumption for most people about feminists is that they hate men, think sex sets women back, and don’t shave. The default assumption about men who pay for lap dances is that they are gross, only think with their penises, and use too much cologne. But, the truth in both cases is more complicated.

What is a Feminist?

Feminists don’t have to be women. A feminist is simply someone who supports equal rights for women. This includes not just political rights, but social, economic, and cultural equality as well. Beyond that things get complicated. Feminists, like any other group of people, have widely different views. Just take sex for example. Many feminists take the line that prostitution, strip clubs, and pornography make sex objects out of women. Therefore, they put women at a lower cultural level than men. They oppose these things as feminists. Whenever you make a person an object, you believe they are less human.

Sexy Feminists

There is also a loud and growing group of feminists that say this old way of thinking about sexual objectification of women is really anti-woman. Confused? These feminists say that sex is good. Why should men be the only ones who get to love sex? When feminists rail against porn stars, strippers, and prostitutes they are really arguing women shouldn’t be sexual. The sexy feminists explain that a woman might do these things not to please men, but because she really likes sex and being sexual. Women should own their sexuality. Some feminists even argue that women can use sex to not only be equal with men, but to have unbelievable power over them.

Feminist and the Lap Dance

1. Are you treating the dancer as a person or as a sex object?

If you are paying for a lap dance, you could be looking at the experience in two ways. One, you want some hot young thing to grind all over you. Two, you want some hot young woman to grind all over you. See the difference? You are making a sex object in the first case. You cannot be a feminist and think this way. But, number two is different. You see a dancer as a person that you want to have an encounter with.

2. Do you love women or hate women?

Some guys have issues with women.  Instead of loving women, these guys seem to hate women.  The hatred of women is called mysogyny.  If you find yourself having negative feelings about "women" or "all women", you probably have some issues that need to be worked out.  The first step is recognizing the tendency.  The next step is to figure out where it's coming from.  How was your relationship with your mom?  Do you have pain about things you haven't fully dealt with?  We encourage you to talk to someone who can help you let that pain out (a counselor or psychologist).

If you have feelings of hatred for women, we don't think you should be getting lap dances.  We think you should be dealing with the issues.  If you don't deal with your issues, you pay the biggest price.  You're going to be unable to have deep, meaningful, loving relationships with the women in your life... your mother, daughter, wife, female boss, etc..  That's a major loss for your life and theirs.

We Love Women

At Liquid Lapdance, we love women.  We have female friends.  We have wonderful mothers and sisters.  We have female bosses.  We have female business partners.  We would love to have a female president.

We also find women attractive.  They're attractive not just because of their physical characteristics, but also because of their intellect, personality, sense of humor, kindness, energy, and virtue.

So, can you be a feminist and pay for a lap dance? Yes. And you will treat the dancer with respect, kindness, and love.

How to Plan a Bachelor Party

Posted by Liquid Lapdance on November 16, 2014 0 Comments

Your buddy is getting married and you are in charge of planning the bachelor party. Where do you even start? A great bachelor party doesn’t just happen, but creating a once in a lifetime experience doesn’t have to be hard. Think of the party as having five different parts. You need to find a place, have food, have entertainment, have booze, and have a plan to get everyone home safely.

1. The Place

Where is the party going to be held? The choices are endless. Many make the mistake of having a bachelor party in a hotel suite. This is usually a bad idea. Good parties are loud parties and most hotels shut down loud parties.

The best places for a great party are at a private home or a club. Having a party at home is cheaper, but may also run the risk of annoying the neighbors. If the party is too good, the cops have a way of showing up. Having the bachelor party at a club might be more expensive, but nobody is going to shut you down either. If going the club route call ahead and see if there are any special bachelor party packages.

2. The Food

Before a night of drinking and partying can really take off, everyone needs to have some fuel to burn. This isn’t a bridal shower. The food doesn’t need to be fancy. Have some sandwiches or wings catered is fine. If you want to go classy, take everyone by limo to a steak house. Whatever you choose to do for food, make sure food available throughout the evening. If this party is going to last, people are going need more than just alcohol.

3. The Entertainment

For most bachelor parties this means strippers. Strippers are another reason a party at a club might be the best idea. You will have more selection and everyone will have a better time. If you have the party at a home, make sure to hire more than one dancer. Don’t be a cheap skate, this is your buddy’s last chance to live it up.

If you want to take the party to the next level, check out the Liquid Lapdance Bachelor Party Pack. Your guests will be telling stories and laughing about these forever. They are the ultimate bachelor party favor.

4. The Booze

This may be tricky depending on where you live as every place has different rules on mixing alcohol and strippers. Make sure you know the do’s and don’ts. The drinks at clubs are going to be expensive, but many offer packages for parties, so call ahead. If you are throwing the party at a home, get more booze than you think you need.

5. Getting Everyone Home

A great bachelor party is a safe party. Get in touch with a local taxi service or town car company. Do not let anyone leave the party and drive home if they have been drinking at all. Have a few designated drivers is the cheapest solution. It may not be the most fun to plan, but having system for getting everyone safely back home will make the party that much better.

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