Posted by Liquid Lapdance on September 20, 2012 0 Comments
Overheard a hottie asking a guy in the strip club last night.
Posted by Liquid Lapdance on September 19, 2012 0 Comments
Plans are in place for the first Liquid Lapdance club, set to open next year in Ensenada, Mexico.
The club will be called "Liquid Lapdance", and will offer 10 minute Liquid Lap dances for $20. Our full range of products will be available for purchase, including a new product called the LL Stroker.
If you're an entrepreneur interested in opening a Liquid Lapdance club in your area, get in touch. firstname.lastname@example.org
Posted by Liquid Lapdance on September 17, 2012 0 Comments
We updated the video on the Liquid Lapdance homepage today. Hope you like it ;)
Posted by Liquid Lapdance on June 28, 2012 0 Comments
"I want to thank you for what you do. I used to spend on average $300 per trip to the strip club (my daily ATM limit). Now the dances feel better and I don't need as many dances to feel satisfied. I don't need to pay for extras as much either. I placed my order two months ago. I've saved more than $1000 since I found out about Liquid Lapdance."
Posted by Liquid Lapdance on June 14, 2012 3 Comments
The Condom Trick for Lap Dances is when a guy wears a lubricated condom during a lap dance. We love the idea, and many of our customers have tried this before they found out about Liquid Lapdance.
There are two problems with wearing a condom during a lap dance:
1. Condoms don't stay on during lap dances. The condom must be placed on the penis before the dance starts (typically in the bathroom) when the penis is soft (flaccid). During the dance, the customer will (hopefully) get an erection. For the condom trick to work, the condom must stay on the penis during the transition from flaccid to erect. Unfortunately, condoms aren't designed for soft penises, and it is truly a "trick" to get a condom to stay on during a lap dance.
2. Condoms are too thin for lap dances. Condoms are great for sex, but vaginas are designed for sex. The inside of your pants isn't designed for sex, so we need Liquid Lapdance to provide the ideal surface for lap dances. We've experimented with many different thicknesses of latex, and it turns out a thicker latex feels much better. This surprised us at first. We expected the thinnest possible latex would be the best. But very thin latex doesn't work well for lap dances. Imagine a slip-and-slide made of Saran Wrap. It's too thin! You feel every pebble. And when you try to slide it just gets bunched up. Add a bit of thickness, and the slip-and-slide is just right!
3. Condoms are too tight for lap dances. Liquid Lapdance is a similar idea to a condom, but it actually works very differently. During sex, a condom wraps tightly around the man's penis. The condom stays in one place on the penis. The penis and condom move in and out of the vagina together. On the other hand, Liquid Lapdance works differently. Liquid lapdance provides a loose fit, so the penis can slide back and forth easily as the dancer moves. With Liquid Lapdance, your penis has a lot of freedom. Yes, you're still inside your pants, but we're trying to simulate the feeling of being lubed up and having the dancer's naked body rubbing on you. A condom is far too tight and restrictive for this.
Liquid Lapdance Lap Dance Pants are specifically designed for lap dances. Some dancers even call them "Lap Dance Condoms", but a you now know, they're very different. Liquid Lapdance fully engulfs the penis and testicles so they can transition with the penis from soft to hard. The dance will feel great whether you're soft, hard, or anywhere in between. Liquid Lapdance is made to stay on during the most intense grinding and humping. A condom could never stay in place during the kind of intense, simulated-sex that Liquid Lapdance is built for.
If you are thinking about the condom trick, you're on the right track. It's definitely possible to make lap dances feel better with some lubrication. But don't stop with the condom trick. Liquid Lapdance opens up a whole new world of pleasure for you at the strip club. Dozens of customers have written to us saying we completely changed how they think about lap dances.
Posted by Liquid Lapdance on June 14, 2012 1 Comment
"Did you just cum?"
"Why's there a wet spot.
"Ummm... I don't know..."
If you're a guy who loves to cum during lap dances, this is a conversation you've had many times. It's never pleasant. And now with Liquid Lapdance, it's a conversation you don't have to have ever again.
When you're wearing Liquid Lapdance, you don't have to worry about skeet, splooge, jizz, gravy, seed, chowder, wad, or anything else getting on the dancer. Everything stays where it's supposed to. You can have an enormous orgasm, unleash a load that would make Peter North blush, and nobody has to know about it!
That's what we call, peace of mind.
Posted by Liquid Lapdance on June 14, 2012 0 Comments
According to U.S. News and World Report, "Americans spend more money at strip clubs than at Broadway, off-Broadway, regional and nonprofit theaters, the opera, the ballet and jazz and classical music performances--combined."
Are guys crazy for spending money at strip clubs? NO! Guys spend money on lap dances because lap dances are worth the money.
What if there was a way to make lap dances worth even more... feel even better... feel almost like sex?
Would you try it? Liquid Lapdance
Posted by Liquid Lapdance on June 09, 2012 0 Comments
Discreet packaging is standard in the adult industry. Every order we ship is shipped discreetly.
But what happens if the wife or girlfriend gets her hands on the package first and opens it?
B U S T E D.
1. You can claim you bought it as a gift for your buddy.
2. You can pretend you're as puzzled and disgusted as she is... "One of the guys at work must have sent it as a joke."
But what if we could figure out a way to avoid getting her upset in the first place?
The solution: The LL Stealth Pack... (A.K.A. the "European Penis Bath").
The concept is simple. We send you a 3-pack of Liquid Lapdance, cleverly disguised as a spa treatment for your dick (something she might have bought you for Christmas).
Visit the "European Penis Bath" product page for all the details.
Posted by Liquid Lapdance on May 07, 2012 0 Comments
...Let me tell you, the LL's were AMAZING! I
felt a little awkward putting them on the first time, but man, were
they worth it!!! I took them for a test drive at Cheetah's (happy
hour), I wish I remembered the girls name, but she took care of business
for me. I can't stop thinking of how great she felt.
Needless to say, they have been worth every penny!
Posted by Liquid Lapdance on May 01, 2012 0 Comments
"...this company should support the fact that these pants can get you off in
one song so you dont go wasting hundreds at a titty bar. Prostitution
will die." -- jdub
Thanks for the great comment, jdub.
We do support said fact. Indeed, it's a source of great pride.
We want guys to have their fun at the strip club (where it's safe and legal), and stay out of dangerous situations (pimps and handcuffs). Check out our mission statement. We'd like nothing more than to make the world's oldest profession obsolete.
Guys, you have a choice. Choose the strip club! It's cheaper, the girls are cuter, and you're still going to have an earth-shattering orgasm (if you wear your Liquids!).